A supervisor I have encountered many conflicts with my
staff. One conflict that I can remember was over an accusation made by a parent
about one of the assistant teachers in the organization. The parent believed
that the assistant was not paying attention to her in the morning. I had to use
the 3 R’s, respectful, reciprocal, and responsive, to solve the problem. I was
respectful in listening to both sides of the argument. I listened to the parent
and the assistant without judgment and showed both of them empathy. I was
reciprocal in the converstion too. I paraphrased their issue and what was being
said in the conversation. Also, I asked probing questions when I needed further
clarification. Finally, I was responsive. I sat down with the assistant, and we
talked about solutions to solve the problem. My assistant felt it was a
misunderstanding and wanted to work with the parent directly. For the parent, I
made a point of speaking to her and asking how she when I saw her. I gave it a
few days before specifically asked about the drop-offs in the morning. Happily,
both parties had worked through the conflicts.
One other strategy I am eager to use in the third party
approach. The skills that I have read about and want to use include:
- See the conflict from the third side – I need to gain the perspective of an outsider and stop, look, and listen to what is going on around me.
- Listen from the third side – I need to put myself in the other people shoes, listen and acknowledge, ask problem-solving questions, and listen for action
- Speak from the third side – I need to be able to interrupt constructively, affirm interests of the whole, and support a win (http://www.thirdside.org/skills.cfm).
This approach allows me to
see the broader conflict and understand the needs or concerns of each party.
Hello Tanya, Great post. I really like how you approach your staff and parent in a respectful way. The reason I say that is because so many supervisor do not know how to put themselves in others shoes. I like how you were empathetic to what was going on with your parent and staff member. The one strategy that I like that you put into your blog this week to always put yourself in other people shoes it is is to say a whole lot when you have not gone through certain issues. I always see the other side when I am interacting with others because you never know what you may have to experience in life and you want other to be compassion and empathetic towards you. The post was very informative and I was so glade to read that both parties were able to resolve their issues in a timely manner.
ReplyDeleteTemika Mccann
Blog 5
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Hello,
ReplyDeleteI think it is great that the approaches you used worked well for you, it seems like it was a success! I also like the fact that you followed up with the situation and did not just forget about it, sometimes we tend to think we solved and resolved a situation and then forget to check up on it, but you cared enough to think back and check if both parties were happy. Awesome job!
Hi Tanya -
ReplyDeleteGreat post! It sounds like you know what you are doing with communication between staff and parents. I just recently visited one of my old Head Start centers and some staff members who were there when I was director. The director there now (my assistant at the time I was there) was telling me about a similar situation she had just encountered. She said that a parent had accused a teacher of sending her child home on the bus with wet clothes. The teacher (who was wonderful when I was there) explained to the parent that she wasn't wet when she left the center. The parent complained to the director and the director stated the same as the teacher. This happened twice, but the second time the parent stated that she had put a recorder in her child's backpack and recorded the entire day and she heard the teacher tell her child to "let your mom change you when you get home". The director did the best she could trying to talk to the mom, but they had a lot of conflict still going on at the time I visited. Any advice I might could pass along to her?
Thanks for sharing your story.
Gena